The “rules” of grammar are a set of conventions that editors and teachers encourage, with a goal of offering readers clear language. They are not set in stone. They can be twisted, abused, adapted, and sometimes overturned by revolution. (And by they, I mean the rules and not the reader or their teachers. See how easily things can become tangled!)

When my parents were in school, it was acceptable to write:

Every student should study so he passes his exam.

You might ask “to whom was that acceptable,” and that begins to get at how conventions are changed. I think we all recognize today that this normalizing of he/his perspectives is discriminatory. There are several ways to address this, among the most common being:

Every student should study so he or she passes the exam.

or

All students should study so they pass their exams.

That change in convention reflects changes in dominant social values. Pronouns in English have long been distinguished by gender binaries and number (singular/ plural).

Universities, at their best, are places where language isn't policed but where thoughtful exploration of the reasons for such changes can be discussed. Especially in the university–where for ethical reasons such as inclusion and equity–we take these issues really seriously and the pronouns we use for people have changed. I won't be policing your pronouns. (But you should also be aware that when you go to work for PNC Bank or local government, they may have other ideas.)

You probably have classmates who prefer gender fluid or non-binary pronouns. This means we now often read or write things like:

My friend just transferred to IUP, but they are a junior.

What's going on here is that, “they” is becoming an option for a singular person. What's slightly weird is that we use the plural form of the verb (“are”) even when talking about a single person. In most other circumstances, if the subject is singular, then the verb must match.

Perhaps when the next generation is in college, this will seem completely normal – or perhaps we will have invented new pronouns or changed language in another way.

Do be aware of when this can be confusing.

If I write: My friend and their coach were just hit buy a bus while crossing Wayne Avenue. They need an ambulance. it is not possible to know whether we need one or two ambulances. So … be creative so as to reflect your own values and respect for others when you write AND be thoughtful about how to avoid confusion.

For more on this, see this essay, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/21/opinion/gender-pronouns-they.html, reactions for readers, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/09/opinion/letters/gender-neutral-pronouns.html and this guide for changing pronoun use https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/08/incomplete-list-gender-pronouns/.