Table of Contents

Week 07

Our focus this week will be revising Essay 2 - Argument. argument_essay_2_-_assignment_details

Group Library of Sources


1. Revision emphases

Revision means radical change. I should see 30%+ new material, obvious deletions, and dramatic rearrangements!

  • Thesis: a clear, debatable claim
  • Paragraphs:
    • Each with a singular, coherent focus
    • Topic sentences
    • Transitions
  • Order/sequence
    • The paragraph topics proceed with an order that is logical AND that supports the thesis; (paragraph three isn't third because you thought of it after number two but because it belongs there!)
    • Development: important ideas get appropriate space to explain; split them and give them two or three paragraphs if necessary!
  • Sources:
    • Framed or introduced appropriately;
    • Each use of a source via quotation or summary fits the topic of the paragraph
    • Each quotation is fully explained and interpreted (no drive by quotation)
  • Templates
    • Where might the student employ a *They Say I Say* move to better signal the position of the source or the student?

2. Peer revision activity

Share your draft via Word online with two classmates.

Classmates, give your peer suggestions on what changes they can make in the areas above.

3. Debriefing Notes on Essay 01

  • There were some very original responses and clever arguments
  • Most of you really learned something about AI and demonstrated that
  • D2L grade is scaled on 40 points (Content:10; Organization: 10; Mechanics: 10; Revision: 10) with an A>= 35, B>= 31, C>= 27, D>= 23.
  • No one earned a 10/10 on revision; I was generous; many revisions really should have earned between 0 and 5.
  • At least 1/5 of students omitted the appropriate attribution of at least one source; in Essay 2 that will result in a serious penality!


1.) Review your and digest the feedback on essay 1; make a short entry in your Writing Journal listing three goals for essay 2.

2) Make revisions to your draft essay 2 based on feedback; (if you didn't get excellent feedback, visit the writing center!)

3) Read They Say I Say Ch 6, “Skeptics May Object: Planting A Naysayer in the Text.


1. Naysayer Class Activity

In chapter 6, They Say I Say explores how you can enhance the credibility of your argument by anticipating objections (82-3). These can be imagined, as in the case of the Kim Cherin writing about an imagined “skeptic” or they can be actual critical points from another source. Introducing a naysayer effectively requires you to also represent them accurately and then answer the objections.

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2. Workshopping your Draft

  • Identify an aspect of your argument that some readers may struggle with or reject
  • Choose the place in your draft to insert this “naysayer”
  • Write a paragraph to explain the objection or issue clearly, using the templates in C6 as inspiration
  • Follow this with a paragraph answering these objections and reaffirming your own position

3. Editing exercise

Mechanics: : editing for commas

D2L - Little Seagull on Commas E5, E5a, E5b direct

Apply it. Check your revised draft and make corrections. Add missing commas; remove commas you do not need.

(In Essay 2, I will expect that you are still avoiding fragments and run-ons. But I would also like to see good use of commas.)


1.) Check the assignment. Review your essay for content. Is there any further revision you need to do.

2.) Read Little Seagull section E-6 (Editing Words that are often Confused) direct link D2L link and L-4 Words Often Confused direct link

3.) Make a first round of “edits” to draft 3; avoid comma errors and word choice errors. You have the option of doing the “Comma” InQuizitve via D2L if that would help you.

We will proofread your final draft in class on Tuesday. You will upload it Tuesday, by midnight! D2L Link for Final Draft Submission - read instructions carefully